I started this particular subject because of an issue that’s very important to me. From what readers can glean from statements in part 1, I am in a relationship and the person I love is selfish. I even went on to further to explain how I know he's selfish and why its wrong. I use a lot of biblical references. That’s something that won’t change. I don’t stand on a foundation of self because I know it’s subject to change. Therefore I stand on an unchangeable truth. The Word. So to get people back to the subject, I will start with an excuse that I really have no patience for. The “I don’t know” excuse people use. I may have less patience for it because my mom also had no patience for it. But so many people still use this excuse so often.I will just ask one question of you. So after realizing that you have been selfish and that you do love a person, you also come to the realization that you have absolutely no idea what to do to show your love. What do you do?
One thing about myself is that I ask a lot of questions. I always have. My mom told me once that the only way for me to find out something will be to ask. The knowledge doesn’t just drop out of the sky. You ask a question, you receive an answer. You do this at the beginning of a relationship. You ask all types of questions about a persons likes, a persons dislikes, their desires, hopes, dreams, and their past. You ask all these things to get to know a person, to see how compatible you are, and even how to please them. So even after all these questions you find yourself in love and have no idea what to do. So if you could ask for all the other answers on the way to love, why wouldn’t you ask what is required of you after you are in love? It doesn’t really make sense to me. Musiq Soulchild said it nicely, “Teach me how to love.”
So let’s say you and your partner are in love. But even as you are happy, you’re not content. So in your discontent, and trying to solve the problem. You talk to your partner. He seems surprised, bewildered and even frustrated. He has been showing he cared and even has been saying the L word on occasion. So he’s been thinking that he’s been doing a good job up until you opened your mouth saying it wasn’t enough. He listens and after you finished talking, he says quite simply “I don’t know how,” as if that sound be answer enough. ARGH!!!!! I don’t know about others, but I hate this reasoning. Yes I HATE this excuse. So much that I practically see red. “You don’t know? Well, Why don’t you know?” If you’ve encountered this excuse, you are probably just started realizing that your partner is selfish. That his caring all stems from himself rather than a deep seated desire to please you. Because if he loved you, how could he have a desire to show he loves you and walk around day to day without knowing for sure that he is doing so. And how could he be sure? Nothing in him would give him the knowledge, his only way to know is to ask you. To talk to you. So once again, I turn to the word to try to find some comfort.
There are so many examples but lets use 2 Timothy 2:15 “Study to shew thyself approved unto God…” This has been verse that has stuck with me since childhood and has been on my mind much recently in one way or another. All of it stems from the knowledge that I love God, and I want to please him. I can’t find the answer in myself, because I am human. By nature, I am selfish so why would I ask my selfish self how to please God. So if I can’t trust myself and I trust others to be just as selfish as I, how will I find the answer? The only answer I have been able to come up with is by studying. Once I had reached the spiritual awareness of my selfishness I didn’t want to be selfish towards God or the man I loved. So I have tried to apply this to the best of my ability. The frustrating part is when the effort I put in doesn’t seem to be match by my partner. The heartbreaking part is that it leaves me to wonder if it’s because he’s not aware of his selfish form of caring and hasn’t reached that awareness yet, or if it’s because he just doesn’t care but is going through the motions. This is where I began to wonder if my love is enough. And at what point do I start to turn away from the person I love? Do I turn away? What is to be done?
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