It’s been a few months since the end of my relationship. A mysterious package in the mail (that turned out to be from my LS), had today’s topic be what would I do if my ex showed up and wanted to get back with me. To the extent of “the professor” giving a very in-depth scenario of what he would do to make me feel special if he was my ex and was trying to win me back. Honestly the things “the professor” said he would do brought tears to my eyes. This stuff were the things women dream of. Just the ticket and if my ex had done these things for me, it would have taken me a LOT longer before realizing he didn’t love me. “The professor” was of the opinion, that I would cave in only a few days. I, of course, was of the opposite opinion.
Most men would say I am either being stubborn, playing hard to get, or trying to make him suffer. If I was still in the healing phase, one of those answers would be true. I will be honest that one of those answers would have been true all the way up to last week. Right up until I wrote my last blog. The difference between now and last week is one simple epiphany. The epiphany was that he DID CARE for me. It’s confusing I know. During the last 6 months of our relationship, I had started to convince myself that he just didn’t care about me. That I was just a time filler. When the things came out as they did, I didn’t need to convince myself. I knew it. So if he did show up and started to show me he cared, I would have been skeptical, stubborn, but moved. I would have eventually went back to him, just for the cycle to continue. So what event caused this realization?
I was at the book store last Monday with my best friend. He has been reading Steve Harvey’s "Think Like a Man, Act like a Lady” at the book store rather than buying it himself. He was telling me that majority of the stuff in the book was real. Not all of it, but at least 90%. This may be a shocker. But, I had never read this book. Honestly I have never even had the desire to read it. But when my friend got a phone call and set it down, I picked it up out of curiosity and boredom. I didn’t read it all. Just skimmed through. I read one section about the signs of how a man shows he cares. Reading it, I grudgingly accepted that my ex did care for me. I didn’t want to because that made me feel worse. He cared, but we still didn’t work out. I still was unsatisfied in our relationship.
So why does knowing he cared changes my reaction to him showing up and showing he cares? Because I have no doubt that he cared for me, it’s simply not enough. It’s not what I want. I want someone who LOVES me. Not someone who CARES. Even if one day he wakes up to the knowledge that he lost something great, the only thing he can do is look for someone greater than me and do things right with her. Sorry people but the harsh reality is this, some things are irreparable. So with that in mind, I hope everyone starts living life like there IS a tomorrow and one that you want to ENJOY.
If you are in a relationship that is unfulfilled, what are the reasons that would cause you to leave and not look back? Take away all thoughts of love that you have for that person, your feelings are obviously what keeps you there. What are they doing to keep you or make you want to leave? What circumstances would make you take someone back after you have broken up? Is there something he/she could do to give them another chance?