Too SUPER to date

After being stood up again, I was venting to one of my male friends that I keep getting stood up, so it must be a sign that I am not supposed to be dating. He says no. So I ask him what does he think. He then goes on to say, Hypothetically of course, "let's say I am single, We meet at an apple store, We hit it off, We date. One of your qualities, that is out of balance with me and maybe others, is you're too super." I paused because I was waiting for an adjective to follow. Something that would give me more insight into why I seem to be so un-date-able.

When he doesn't continue, I ask "Super What?" and in one phrase he gives me more to think about then I ever thought about myself when dating. He replies, "Super Woman." At this point, I am rolling on the floor laughing. Did he really just call me "Super Woman," me, when I feel like I am underachieving and sleeping on my potential. Needless to say I needed him to expound on his statement. He says quite clearly, "They can't figure out what to do with you." Of course, at this point I am thinking, "What to do with me? I've got an idea. If I'm so great, why not date me?"

So, I ask my friend, "I am un-date-able because I am super woman?" He goes on to say that in order for him to explain in a way that I can understand he will have to appeal to my ego. Of course I feel a little hurt that he just called me conceited, but I wait for him to say something edifying. He goes on to say that its really all to do with my "super" ness. He says I do a lot of activities, I am a social person, a baby socialite, and that it makes most men insecure. I go on to tell him that actually, I am shy. But he remains adamant that I am a socialite. He says that I get along with all people. Men and women. He says I do a lot of other stuff that he can't remember, but it kicks a$$ and I can keep up with men.

At this point, I can't help but think that most men are lazy when it comes to women. If I am too super to date and intimidating, why don't they get on my level? Why should I feel like I have to condescend in order to get a man? Or pretend, that I am someone I am not? Men don't want to be in competition with their women, or feel emasculated by them, but instead of looking for a woman that is beneath them, why don't they raise the standard for themselves? And another thing, if I am intimidating to guys who I feel are good men, and possibly my equal, then something isn't adding up. Either I am a much better catch then I figure, or I need to raise my standard for the men I get interested in. Well, I personally feel, men need to "Man UP"!

What about you dolls out there, are you too "super" to date? And if so, do you feel like you are lowering your standard so you can be more attainable and not be lonely? For those women who have career goals and reaching for them, do you feel like you're trading marital bliss, to do something meaningful, something that you think you were made to do? Why does it have to be a choice with women, either the love of a man, or a career you love? Why not both?